A silly modeling attempt of Tia’s sexuality

Because the way Tia is “wired up” sexually can be a bit of a headscratcher based on my past discussions with people, I cooked up a bare-bone model of the inner-working of Tia’s libido. It is not something that is used in the game at all, as it has its own system, but I thought it interesting to share with people who might have taken an interest in the protagonist none the less.

While the model will give no insight on the game, it will allow the reader to reacher a deeper understanding of what goes on behind the scenes of each of the scenes of the game still. Because, while I don’t apply a mathematical model to my writing (thankfully!), the way I write Tia in sexually explicit situations still adheres to the rules of the model I am about to outline. If you are curious and have a lot of time to spare, please read up, and give me your feedback!

Tia’s libido as represented by a bunch of “meters” or “gauges”

Now, we are starting with something those who played the demo are quite familiar with, gauges! However, the gauges I am about to talk about are not quite the same as that of the game.

Let us consider that, in normal circumstances, sexual arousal, also called “libido”,  “desire”, or “lust”, builds up linearly based on the stimulation of erogenous areas (nipples, clitoris, vagina…). In return, the higher the libido, the higher the sensitivity of these erogenous areas, which translates in more pleasure experienced during sex.

We all know that, in real life, lust does not build up linearly at all, and is influenced by a lot of factors, both internal (mood, stress, tiredness…) and external (Do blondes turn you on? Perhaps high heels do it for you? Or perhaps the TV show left running in the background as your partner makes out with you is turning you off?). These factors can be called “modifiers”, because they are not part of foreplay, yet influence lust.

In our gamified illustration of Tia’s sexuality, Tia’s sexual arousal will be represented by a meter, the “Lust gauge”, which tracks how turned on she is, from 0 to 100. Normally, the “lust gauge” would compound together all influences on sexual desire, but we are going to isolate a specific kind of external influences on lust and give it its own meter, the “Situational Influences gauge”, which goes from 0 to 1. This is necessary to the goal of illustrating how Tia’s sexuality works.

To keep things simple, how much pleasure Tia gets from sexual stimuli will be directly related to the lust gauge. In a more thorough model, this would be dictated by a “sensitivity” variable, but in our simplified approach, sensitivity would be a direct translation of lust, and thus redundant.

To summarize, we have two gauges, or meters:

• A Lust gauge, which represents her desire, or sexual drive, and directly influences how quick the pleasure gauge fills up (the sensitivity rate);
• A Situational Influences gauge, which represents the influence of situational factors, quite literally the situation Tia is in, on her lust, and acts as a multiplier to the rate of lust build-up (lust rate).

With this defined, let us see how these gauges interact.

The (very simplistic) math of Tia’s sexual drive and pleasure

In a “neutral” situation, Tia’s lust gauge is empty, and most internal and external factors won’t contribute to building up any lust (lust rate is at 0). Furthermore, because we chose to make Tia’s sensitivity a direct translation of her lust, stimulation of her erogenous areas won’t give her any pleasure either (sensitivity = lust, which is at 0). In short, Tia is pretty much asexual. Sex is neither something she cares about, nor that brings her any pleasure, in most situations, at least.

This is where the “situational influences” gauge comes in, and why it was important to separate it from the “lust” gauge: some of these situational influences drastically increase how much lust Tia builds up, and thus, in turn, her sensitivity to sexual pleasure.

As mentioned in her bio, the strongest situational influence on Tia’s sexual drive is the presence of an element of danger. This does not mean that Tia “gets off danger”, nor does this mean that all kinds of dangers influence Tia’s lust. After all, what is dangerous or not is a subjective assessment. For example, “losing face” can, for some people (including Tia), be recognized as a more potent danger than the risk of breaking a leg!

The more potent the danger she finds herself in, the more the “situational influences” gauge builds up. However, because the “situational influences” gauge only works as a multiplier to lust build-up, danger is not, in itself, a source of lust (0 times any number will always return 0, after all). Instead, it enables the build-up of lust and influences the rate of said build-up.

Once Tia’s “situational influences” value is greater than 0 (usually because of perceived danger), all sorts of common sexual triggers will start to build up lust at different rates. Sexually loaded banter will be enough to turn her on, albeit by the smallest amount, and vaginal penetration will typically be the strongest contributor (to lust, but of course to pleasure as well).

When talking about sexual triggers, which is the name that we give to sources of lust and pleasure, one can distinguish, in our little system, two variables:

• How much the trigger can potentially contribute to lust build-up (let’s call this variable Tlc for “Trigger lust contribution”), from 0 to 100;
• How much the trigger can potentially contribute to pleasure (let’s call this variable Tpc for “Trigger pleasure contribution”), from 0 to 1.

Putting it all together in some neat formulas!

Now that we have introduced all of these variables, it is time to summarize how they all work together. We will do it through a few formulas, which influence one another in a cascading fashion. Before we get started on the formulas, though, let’s introduce the abbreviations which will be used:

• Lbp: the Lust build-up, or how much an event contributes to Tia’s lust;
• Pbp: the Pleasure build-up, or how much pleasure a stimulus provides to Tia;
• Tlc: the Trigger lust contribution, how much it would contribute to Tia’s lust if it could contribute to it at its full potential;
• Tpc: the Trigger pleasure contribution, how much of the lust state it can potentially translate into pleasure;
• SIs: the Situational Influence state, how much the situation in which the trigger goes off fuels Tia’s lust;
• Ls: the Lust state, or how high Tia’s sexual drive is at the moment.

The lust formula

The first formula dictates how much a trigger contributes to lust in a given situation. This one is fairly simple.

What it means is that how much lust is gained is a function of a given trigger’s lust contribution, multiplied by the state of situational influences (the number the “situational influences” variable currently returns, as dictated by the “situation influences” gauge).

The Lust state (Ls), which is the value of the Lust variable, or how much the Lust gauge is filled up, is the sum of all the Lbp (without taking into account any other incident variable, to keep it simple), giving us an even simpler formula:

To summarize, the Lust state is the sum of all of the lust build-ups, as defined by the contribution of each trigger multiplied by value of situational influences. This goes without saying, but the Ls cannot go over 100, as it is the maximal value of the Ls gauge. Any Lbp past this threshold will only contribute to maintaining the sexual drive, without contributing further to it.

The pleasure formula

This formula defines the intensity of pleasure experienced by Tia when she is sexually stimulated. It mirrors the formula for the build-up of lust, but uses a trigger’s contribution to pleasure rather than to lust, and uses the lust state as its multiplier. However, while the Tlc varies from 1 to 100, the Tpc varies from 0 to 1. In essence, it determines how much of the current lust is translated into pleasure based on the potency of the stimulation (for example, the sensitivity of an erogenous area). We get the following formula:

Like we did for the lust state, it is then possible to use the sum of the instances of pleasure build-up to keep track of a “pleasure state” and to update it. Theoretically, reaching a ceiling amount of pleasure state could lead to orgasm, but this is not the purpose of this demonstration, and there are better ways to compound orgasm build-up.

On the topic of orgasm, it is important to note that the pleasure formula defines what percentage of the lust build-up is translated into pleasure, rather than converted. Meaning that pleasure does not “consume” lust, and thus does not lower it. Only orgasm, an aversive stimulus (a “turn off”), or an extended period of time without sexual stimuli, can lower the amount of built-up lust.

The unreeled formula

Since the pleasure formula includes the results of the preceding formulas, an unreeled version of this formula works as a complete synthesis of the whole exercise. The resulting formula is as follows:

Simulating through a handful of examples

Examples in the absence of any sort of danger

First, to understand Tia’s apparent asexuality in most common situations (that is to say, when there is no element of danger), let us take a situation devoid of any danger (from Tia’s point of view).

In the first situation, Tia is washing the dishes, when her room mate suddenly grabs her butt playfully. We will give the butt grab a Tlc (potential to contribute to Tia’s sexual drive) of 4, and a Tpc (how much lust it can potentially translate into pleasure) of 0.2. To keep things simple, this is the only trigger of this situation. And, of course, as there is no danger nor any other situational influence, the Situational Influences state (SIs) is of 0. We obtain the following result:

Unsurprisingly, for as long as the SIs is at 0, the formula can only return 0, meaning that, in absence of danger, or any of the few other situational influences which work on Tia, any and all sexual triggers will absolutely not contribute to her lust and pleasure.

Of course, there is a limit to this rule, as the devil is in the details. Let us consider some variations of the same situation, derived from our first example.

Tia visited one of her informants, and accepted his invitation to stay for dinner. As a way of thanking him, she decided to clean the dishes for him. While she is washing the dishes, he similarly grabs her butt. We obtain the following formula and result:

It is the exact same result as before because the gesture is the exact same, and Tia does not perceive the situation as dangerous. While the gesture is sexually loaded and unwanted, Tia feels like she has good enough a control on the situation that there is little danger of the man posing any threat to her. Furthermore, if Tia did actually feel like things were likely to get worse, this first offense would have taken her by surprise before she could register any sort of danger.

Now, let us add a small but significant variation to this example, while keeping it devoid of perceived danger. The situation is the exact same, but the man laced Tia’s serving with an aphrodisiac. We obtain the following formula and result:

In this example, the effect of the aphrodisiac substitutes itself to the perception of danger, acting as an enabler in its stead. Tia lets out a small gasp of surprise as she comes to the realization that something is wrong with her, and the man’s gesture allows her to put two and two together and figure out what is going on.

In this situation, Tia is not in any meaningful peril yet, but might be in a precarious situation if she does not defuse the situation as soon as possible. Between the aphrodisiac and the now clearly identified danger coming from the intents of the man, she might soon be overwhelmed if he grows bolder in his sexual assault.

Examples of triggers of a small sexual significance in a perilous situation

Let’s consider an entirely different situation. Tia has been dragged to a party by two of her friends. The party turned out to be about hanging out with half a dozen men that Tia has never seen before in her life. One of her two friends left the room a while back with her boyfriend, leaving her and the remaining friend alone with the men. She would gladly leave, but she would rather not abandon her friends. One of the men has been chatting her up a storm, and his hand has wandered a bit too close to her thigh a few times. Growing bolder, he finally decides to test the waters and to caress her naked thigh. This move has an innate value of 4 Tlc (potential contribution to lust), and a Tpc value of 0.2 (rate of translation of Tia’s lust into pleasure).

There is a number of ways this situation can unfold, let’s start with the least perilous variation. In this one, Tia has determined that the other men are high as kites and mostly harmless. She also knows that she can count on the support of her friend if things go awry. However, her friend is also high, and thus not entirely reliable. All in all, this is a situation of potential danger, but Tia remains fairly confident that she can manage it… Probably. This gives the situation a Situational Influence state of 0.1 on a scale from 0 to 1 (because of the slight element of danger), for the following results:

The situation is just dangerous enough to make Tia a bit wary. While the man grabbing her thigh does not provide any pleasure whatsoever, it does raise her lust in a marginal fashion. At this rate, it would take quite a few hours for the man to get anywhere with such a tactic, and Tia wouldn’t give him the opportunity to keep going, let alone get bolder, anyway. For now, she coldly tells him to keep his hands to himself, while ready to get more aggressive if need be, or simply to grab her friend and storm out through the unlocked front door.

Now, let us change the situation a little bit. Her friend is still there, but completely stoned, barely registering what is going on around her. As for the men in the room, they are all quite alert, and have shared quite a few glances at the girls’ bodies, and among themselves. To make matter worse, one of them just locked the front door and pocketed the key. Tia is fairly convinced that her friend and her are meant to be the party’s main dishes, and that the men won’t take no for an answer. All in all, it is a pretty dire situation which sends her heart beating fast in anxiety. The SIs is of 0.7 with the following results:

Tia gasps when the man suddenly touches her thigh. However, it betrays the surprise of an anxious girl more than any sort of pleasure. The gesture remains small enough that it does not contribute much to building lust, however, because of the situation, it is still doing something. She realizes that, with the way she is now, any bolder move could slowly but surely build her lust up. Unfortunately, this man is not the only threat she has to worry about…

Adding an element of repetition

In the preceding example, even with a perceived danger of a fairly high value, a rather tame move such as touching Tia’s thigh brings virtually no pleasure whatsoever, and barely builds up any lust. With that said, other than the obvious threat of escalation from the man and his friends, there is the important factor of repetition to consider. Because the Lust state (Ls) is the sum of all the contributions to lust, each time that the man does something as tame as touching Tia’s thigh in this situation, her lust rises, and the higher it gets, the faster it rises. Even if the situation did not develop past the man’s hand caressing her thigh, because of the danger of things taking a darker turn, Tia would soon start to feel visibly aroused and bothered. This would only motivate the man to get bolder. Thus, Tia cannot afford to remain idle. Unfortunately, in this example, the men are now making it clear that if Tia were to make a scene, her defenseless friend would be in trouble, compelling her to put up with it.

Let us illustrate the effect of repetition with an example in which the man does, in fact, get bolder, but gradually so.

After first caressing her thigh, the man decides to reach for Tia’s crotch over the fabric of her denim shorts. This trigger has a Tlc of 15 and a Tpc of 0.2. Because we are now working with more than one trigger, the formula for Ls needs to incorporate all of the preceding triggers (which follow the latest null result, of course). So far, was have one preceding trigger, giving us the following results:

While the fabric prevents the gesture from bringing much in the way of sensations, not offering more pleasure than the caress on her thigh, its clear connotation causes it to contribute quite a bit more to lust. Because of the accumulating lust, a gesture which, on its own, should not provide more pleasure than the caress on the thigh, already offers more than twice the pleasure previously experienced. It still ends up being a marginal amount, below the threshold of what she can even notice, but as long as Tia’s lust increases, it can only go up from there, even if the man does not grow bolder. Case in point, let us see what happens if the man decides to continue with this gesture, while nothing else changes.

Thanks to the high probability of the situation escalating into rape, the contribution to lust of the gesture continues to profit from a fair “danger boost”, building lust up rapidly. While the amount of pleasure experienced this time is not quite the double of that experienced by Tia moments before, it is also building up nicely. The only saving grace here is that this gesture has a fairly low Tpc. But of course, the current danger is that of rape, meaning that what is unfolding is not just nurturing Tia’s lust, but making the danger more potent as well. Thus, even as the situation remains the same, the increase in lust and pleasure alone is raising the situational influence (from the perceived danger increasing). Let’s say that the modest but significant increase in lust adds 0.05 to the situational influence. To bump it up further, let’s assume that the other men are starting to unbuckle their belts and unbutton their pants, adding a further 0.05 for a total of 0.8 situational influence. We get the following formula:

Now that the danger is even more potent, lust is increasing even faster, and while still fairly low, the amount of pleasure provided by the man’s hand over the fabric of Tia’s shorts is also increasing.

Of course, the sight of the other men undoing their pants, promising further sexual ordeals to come, should be, in itself, a sexual trigger. Let’s add it in. We will not give it any potency (as the view in itself does not give Tia any pleasure), but give it a hefty 20 Tlc (as it is a pretty straightforward promise of sexual intercourse). Adding it on top of the previous increase of SI, we get the following results:

Here, we calculated the Pbp just for the heck of it, but, of course, a trigger that is not a source of pleasure at all cannot provide pleasure, no matter the lust. Thus, it returns 0. However, its impact on lust is quite potent, and it gets Tia’s sexual drive over the halfway point to 100. At this point, the signs of lust are clear as day to every observer in the room: flared cheeks, slightly ragged breathing, the outline of her hardening nipples through the fabric of her top… This is more than likely to encourage the men to press further in their endeavor.

To finish with this example, let’s assume that our prime molester decides to finally be bolder. Not content with caressing the tomboy’s crotch over the fabric of her shorts, he slips his hand inside her shorts and panties alike, making the button pop up in his eagerness. The direct contact of his hand with her crotch isn’t raising the danger particularly more than the previous events, however, it does wonder to both her lust and pleasure. This last gesture has a Tlc of 25, and a Tpc of 0.4. We get the following results:

This last gesture pushes Tia’s lust to dangerously high levels, high enough that her body is close to being ready for sexual intercourse. Meanwhile, it also gives Tia significantly more pleasure than the previous ones. She likely cannot repress a soft moan, betraying her pleasure as clearly as her body betrays her lust. At this point, Tia still can but will have a hard time fighting back. Her lust will hinder her significantly in her attempt to fight back, making her slow, sluggish, and distracted. Most worrisome yet, any correctly targeted act of molestation will stop her in her tracks, if only for a moment, and a more sustained initiative is likely to soon neutralize her entirely. Her best bet is to act right now, and hope that her molester will choose to answer to her agitation with violence rather than to persist in his molestation. And even then, as distracted as she is by lust, the petite tomboy would be at a clear disadvantage even against only one of them.

Matrix of interactions between the lust potential of triggers and situational influences

Before we conclude, let’s have a quick summary of the relationship between lust and danger through a simple matrix. As per the formula, each value at the crossing of a Trigger lust contribution and a Situational Influence state is a lust build-up, which reflects the actual contribution of the trigger to lust, given the influence of the chosen situation.

The same table applies to the relationship between Trigger pleasure contribution and the lust states. As you can see, it is fairly basic. In the end, the goal of this rudimentary modeling work was just to make an abstract concept concrete through simple computation. There is no goal to use this work for any sort of calculation of Tia’s lust or pleasure. When writing scenes for Tia, I rely on my gut-feeling, having a clear idea in my head of the rudimentary algorithm outlined here. I hope that the present work will help interested parties in getting such a clear idea as well.

A final note on pleasure, lust, and their influence on Tia’s behavior

Because we took the shortcut of making an equivalence between lust and sensitivity, Tia’s sexual drive ends up being a component of the unreeled pleasure formula. However, lust matters beyond its influence on pleasure because it directly influences behavior. Lust does not just govern the experience of pleasure (and, in fact, only governs it indirectly), but also governs the compulsion to seek it. This distinction is very important for Tia, because the opposition between lust and willpower, as an extension of the conflict between the wants of the body and that of the mind, is a central theme for her.

This dichotomy is a cornerstone of many of Tia’s ordeals as it governs many facets of her sexual perils:

• The contradiction between her total lack of sexual drive in situations in which it would be desirable and her incredibly high libido in situation in which it sabotages her;
• The contrast between her incredible tolerance to pain (both physical and psychological) and her remarkable weakness to sexual stimulation (in perilous situations);
• The paradox of suffering greatly intellectually from being molested or violated, while getting heighten physical pleasure out of it;
• The absurdity of her sexual drive getting stronger the more she, intellectually, wishes to avoid any sort of sexual activity (as sexual molestation and rape are potent dangers to which she is frequently exposed);
• The fact that her pleasure only adds to her psychological anguish, turning a positive feeling into an ingredient for hellish turmoil;
• The culmination of it all that is the genuine desire to experience more sexual pleasure from her violators nurtured within herself by her lust despite the cheer psychological horror of it all;
• And, of course, the general themes of her own body betraying her, and that of her being treated like an object, rather than a person.

Why go through this lengthy pseudo-mathematical demonstration? To convey some easily misunderstood yet critical nuances of Tia’s sexuality which are instrumental to understanding her ordeals and suffering. While statements such as “She gets off from putting herself in danger”, “She has rape fantasies”, “She is not honest with herself”, or “She just pretends not to like it but she can’t get enough of it” are all good approximations of what she goes through on the surface, I do feel like each elude much of Tia’s true ordeal. If anything, such statements, more than once thrown at her in her stories, only add to her psychological distress.

To anyone who went through the hassle of reading through the whole thing, thank you for your interest, and I do hope that it wasn’t too bothersome a read! Please do not hesitate to share your comments, thoughts, and questions in the comments. And, if you have yet to do so, please go download and play the game over here!